Heartbreak...

Caleb had his first bottle tonight. Jonathan took him to the chair in the nursery - the chair where I spend thirty to forty minutes at a time feeding him eleven or twelve times a day, I might add - and fed him two ounces in a little over a minute.

I burst into tears. Not kidding.

In my worst post-partum blues moments, I have wept aloud that Jonathan didn't understand how hard it was to get up five or six times every night to feed him. He didn't know how difficult feeding him was when you're not getting more than four hours of sleep TOTAL a night. I crowed that soon, as soon as Caleb would take a bottle, I would make him feel my pain.

Now it seems that said pain is not so bad for Dad. Ugh. My little emotions went wild.

The first thing I did was call Wendy to find out if this was normal. Such an inconsiderate friend - she didn't psychically anticipate my need, and had actually gone to ballet. However, her honey Tom was a bit of a help, in assuring me that he himself was a "gulper" as a baby. And Tom is not only alive after he drank as quickly as Caleb, but he's attractive and intelligent as well. So apparently drinking chugging milk faster than the keg king at a frat party won't cause any lasting damage.

I'm trying not to panic that Caleb will prefer the bottle. It obviously meets his nutritional needs a lot faster. However, he's been shrieking like a banshee for the last twenty minutes, so maybe it's not agreeing with his tummy.

Honestly? I'm trying not to be too cheerful about that thought...

 Terra Fisk replied...

Ohh sweet Amanda.. you are still needed and loved by your son. The sacrifice of sleep you've given him will all be worth it. You are a great mama and can NEVER be replaced! I love you!