Still sappy...

My little boy was three months old yesterday, and the desire to smooch him all day long has not waned a bit! We had tonight together without worrying about having to wake up in the morning, so I kept him up a little late. Oops! It was a wonderful time!

A lot of stuff happened this week. He had formula for the first time ~ I don't think he notices the little bit he's taking in with his other food, but OH MY GOODNESS do those of us changing his diapers notice the difference. I don't even want to think about how bad it's going to be when he starts eating solids!

I almost had a nervous breakdown on Monday when his school told me that they couldn't even put lotion on Caleb without a note from his doctor. It WAS lotion that the doctor had given him, but it was samples of lotion that you could buy at any grocery store. Sheesh. I fell apart because it seemed SO stupid, but when I got a little further about it, I realized that they have to be very careful because our society is so darn litigious. Criminy grits. That morning though, it seemed like they were just trying to DELIBERATELY keep my baby boy's skin looking like an itty bitty alligator. Double sheesh.

The week was insane at work. (Last refi week of the month, dontcha know.) It was interesting to see the way I handled things. Granted, I wasn't as busy as I usually am at the end of the month, but I still held things together pretty well. PARTICULARLY when you consider the tremendous lack of sleep I'm functioning under. Praise the Lord! I'm excited to start getting some more sleep, but also enjoy the time with my boy every night. When we only get an hour and a half in the evening with him before he goes to bed, and less than an hour every morning (not very quality time even if we DO get an hour), it makes me treasure even those two or three times he gets me up in the night. How long do you think that will last?

Finally, I would like to give a huge prayer of thanks for the fact that Caleb made it through his first four weeks at school without getting sick! Whoo-hoo! I know there's no rational reason to feel this way, but I'm still really proud of him! Way to go, Caleb Z!

Okay, gotta get to bed, because that gorgeous little boy will be waking me up within a couple hours. Yay!

Huge Weekend!

It started out wonderfully, continued fabulously, and ended exquisitely. What can I say; it went pretty well.

We got together with the Sommerfelds on Friday night for dinner and games. The little man was well behaved - he was such a pleasant little bug. No crying whatsoever, until he woke up for second dinner. And since I feed him whenever he cries at night, even those tears didn't last that long. We stayed up a little too late, but had a great time. I adore them so much ~ how often can I say that I really ENJOY Balderdash? (Okay, mainly because I won, but whatever...)

He only woke up twice Friday night after second dinner. Hooray! Momma got almost seven full hours of sleep!

Then we went to his three month checkup on Saturday morning. He weighs 13 lbs 13 oz, and is happy, healthy and THRIVING! The few things I was worried about were dismissed - the main thing being the shape of his little skull. The back of one side of his head is the teensiest bit flat. (And bald!) Dr. Lewis said that since babies sleep on their backs these days, the skulls are weird shaped for a while because they're so soft. I'm cool with that as long as it's normal. Also, the fact that he's so dry has been bothering me. He's got full body dandruff. It's blecho. So he gave us some samples to use.

Finally, he got two more immunizations. Pobrecito! He cried, and cried and cried some more. I felt so awful for him! He's been feverish and cranked out since then. But he's seems to be doing better tonight.

Then he got to go see his Grandma, Grandpa and GG. Grandpa is working on his crib, so we looked at the progress, and I meant to take a picture of him with the pieces so that we could get another picture of him with the finished project and it would be fun. Oh well.

I needed to have a serious talk with my parents about some crapola that I had dealt with during high school. I thought they would shriek in horror and need to spend some time away from me. Turns out that God really HAD answered my prayers of preparing their hearts for it. It helps that the garbage I needed to talk to them about happened half a lifetime ago, too. But it was just one of those things that I needed to get off of my conscience before it ate me alive. So Saturday brought a clean bill of health for my son, there was a clean slate for myself. My parents ROCK! (And I don't think that just because they went easy on me. I've known my parents were cool for almost twenty years. Maybe even before that, but I never would have admitted it.)

Then this morning, he went to the NURSERY for the first time at church. Miss Angela told me how much I would love having the nursery available. I don't know if she meant later when they're frustrating or what, but it was almost as hard to leave him alone there as it was to take him to school the first day! I almost snatched him back and ran away. But he's such a little chatterbox that we had to take him. It didn't help me concentrate any better on the service ~ I kept wondering how he was and checking the video screen for his number for when they're having trouble. Of course, in an hour and a half, how likely is it that he'll have trouble the first day? He was fine. Again, separation is MUCH tougher on Mom at this point than on Caleb.

We watched the Broncos game this afternoon - what a TRAVESTY! I don't think they played that badly, to be honest, but the Steelers were just amazing! Now I'm rooting for them in the Super Bowl. After the game, Auntie Alisa and Chris came over to get Alisa's b-day presents, and then Noel and Casey came over as well! So we had DDR going on the television, Worms Mayhem on the computer, pizzas, cream puffs and drinks on the table, and people just migrated around between all three. It was an absolute riot.

Now Jonny Fashbaugh and I are finishing up our stuff for the evening and calling it a night. Man! Best weekend ever! Final thought - check out the incredible artistry I exhibited in the portrait of the two boys in my life. (Scroll down past Caleb.) Yeah, you know I've got the mad skillz!

One More Blessing!

I've thought of this one on and off for the last almost three months, but forgot to mention it. We live in a condominium, right? And when Tessie, Miguel and Bryan lived ABOVE us, we were constantly in each others business. However, they moved ACROSS from us two months before the little man made his appearance, leaving the condo above us vacant.

Guess which condominium in Denver has been vacant for the last five months, leaving the Fashbaughs unstressed about a crying baby in the middle of the night?!

It's the little things like that which confirm to me that this was the perfect time to grow our family. It's fun when you see various circumstances coming together to complete a scenario so incredible that you never would have dreamed it...

Looks like we made it!

Two weeks back to work down, and I get the perfect gift of a day with my son! (Now if only it could happen every two weeks!) We're having the absolute BEST day! I can't believe how amazing he is. Every day he gets stronger, smarter, and more adorable! Right now, he sitting in his exersaucer thing and looking at the baby in the mirror. He's such a happy little bug! He took one tiny nap so far, and other than that, we've been just playing.

Every stage is better, they say, and even though I couldn't imagine enjoying him more than when he was first born, he's getting to be really FUN! And I know it will keep getting better. It's tough to only have weekends with him, because we're too BUSY, you know? There's always so much to do that just spending time together seems like a luxury. That's why today is so magical. It would be just as good if Jonny could be here, but he just couldn't take another day off. (He has President's Day off to spend all alone with the boy!)

Jonathan stayed home with me this past Wednesday. I was a sick pup! (If you want to get a giggle, check out Jon's blog for a dead-on representation of how we spent our most magical moments that day.) I'm not sure he even meant to stay home. He took Caleb to school, and hit the grocery store for some Gatorade and bananas for me since I wasn't keeping anything on my tummy. When he got back, he hooked me up with some drink in bed, and got sidetracked with the gigantic mess I made. NOT COOL! (But the first time he's had to clean up after me, so it was bound to happen someday!)

Anyway, I made it back to work on Thursday and Friday, but Friday night was really rough on me. Saturday morning made it clear just how rough it was. I had left a full day of Caleb's meals UNREFRIGERATED. Oy vey! That one hurt. But God will provide ~ he's done tougher stuff!

In light of all the blecho, it makes today with Caleb that much more special. I was so weak last week that I didn't ever feel very good. Even though I'm still having mild tummy issues, it's good to feel good, and have some time with my boy! Which brings me to this point: my boy is ceasing to enjoy being without me. Gotta jet!

Amazing Grace...

...how sweet the sound.

We made it through the first week, y'all! Caleb did so with flying colors, Amanda almost the same. I didn't think the next three days would be almost as hard as that first day dropping him off at school, but so they were. All I can say is HIS MERCIES ARE NEW EVERY MORNING! I needed them every morning, because I was continuously struck with the temptation to close all the curtains and just hoard that little man all to myself without going to work.

But. Still. And yet. (I love those words! They fix everything!)

Things worked out well. I had a slower week at work than I'm used to, just because there wasn't much going on. I had hoped it would be busier to keep my mind off Caleb, but it gave me a little more room to enjoy myself. I got to chat a little easier on the phone with the people who called to welcome me back. I was able to get Caleb's meals ready without worrying that someone was panting outside the door, waiting on me. I didn't have to feel so guilty coming to work right on time rather than half an hour early, and walking out the door RIGHT on time.

I'll just have to deal with those feelings of guilt when we do get busier, because the days of compulsive over-worker Amanda are gone. She's got new priorities, my friends. But in another way, I think it will make me more efficient as well. So mayhaps the same amount of work will be done in less time. Fingers crossed.

Anyway, my ABUNDANT thanks to all of you who called, e-mailed and wrote to wish me well in my return to work. I felt the prayers in full force. I love my friends and family soooo much ~ I know that I might have been a little mopey with some of you, but your support made me feel so wonderful. Thanks for putting up with the whines and seeing through to the mommy's heart that was grieving about leaving her little boy. I made it through one whole week, and I'm poised on the brink of conquering another.

Heartbreak without the benefit of a hotel...

Yesterday was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, and I survived. That's a testament to God's grace in my life. When I dropped that perfect little boy off at his new school so that I could go to work, I thought my heart would explode with the pain. It was honestly the most painful experience of my life, even physically. Ohmigoodness, give me labor and delivery ANY day of the week over the feeling of abandoning my son.

But. Still. Yet.

I have grace. God has a plan. He gave me the ability to deal with the day, and even though I hurt, it was strangely wonderful at the same time! I work with the greatest group of people under the sun, and they all were so fantastic that I only cried once after I got there. It was good to be with them again. When I thought I might not make it through the day, Jodi e-mailed me to say, "Just think! Only two more hours until you see him!" Yes, picking Caleb up after work was the most glorious point of my day.

I don't know how much baby babies can "experience" things, but he seemed really content when I got there. He was the only baby left, and the gal with him was just cuddling him. (I gather, from the two other ladies that I talked to, that Sir Caleb will be something of a favorite among the teachers. Of course, they probably tell that to all the first day mommies!) Anyway, my biggest fear - other than that he would forget all about me in the nine hours we were apart - was that he would have slept so much during the day that he wouldn't sleep last night, but he only got up once. This is very, very good.

I have peace. Today seems a little bit easier. And tomorrow will seem just a little bit more manageable. We're going to make it through this, because we were created for such a time as this. This time might be tough, and this time might not be what I had hoped for our lives, but God's got us all in his hands, and we're going not only to survive, but to THRIVE!

Grace and peace. With those two in action in my life, I can take on anything that God puts in my path.