Wednesday Thoughts...

Well, even though I go back and forth between wanting Gavi to make an appearance and wanting to wait a while longer, the ambiguity is starting to get to me. It seems that I’m constantly feeling either on the verge of having him or feeling like I’m not even that pregnant. And when it happens every other day ~ or even in the two parts of one day ~ it’s tough to remember what the other extreme feels like!

I’ll have half a dozen minor contractions in an hour, lasting 30-45 seconds, or a few really bad ones that threaten to drop me. Then I’ll go a couple hours without even feeling one ~ and I’m stronger than ever. Again, the nesting instinct is getting a little ridiculous because it’s been going on for so long. But honestly, I don’t think I’ve EVER been so organized!

My appointment yesterday wasn’t really terribly informative either. I’m measuring almost 41 weeks, which tells me that I’m not an awful person for hoping he comes sooner rather than later. I think he’s probably more than ready to be born, but I’m trying to remember that God’s timing is the most important thing here. After all, I don’t know what tomorrow holds ~ maybe Caleb Z is going to get another bout of the poopies! Wouldn’t it be easier for me to deal with my little munchie than have to let his Grandma and Grandpa take care of him?

That’s the other thing that TOTALLY makes me nervous! I’ve never been away from Caleb for more than 36 hours at a time! How am I going to stand having him away from me for this crucial event in our lives? I don’t know how long the separation will be, because I think my folks will plan on bringing him to visit at the hospital, and the hospital stay might be REALLY minimal, but it still concerns me. I don’t like to think about the trauma that it will be for ME to be away from him ~ but when I get to thinking about traumatizing CALEB, I want Gavi to stay in forever!

Caleb is really learning to be a big help to me. I’m trying to find the balance between letting him stay in baby mode and really encouraging the “big brother” aspect. He’ll still have his mood swings, but when I ask him to help pick up toys or whatever, he’s generally amenable. ESPECIALLY if he knows something cool will come afterwards. This is how I reward my son for picking up his toys: get out the vacuum. Hey, it works!

Last night, Jonathan needed to stay at work really late, and so I fed Caleb on his own fairly early. But I was starting to get hungry and I finally said to him in frustration, “Where is your daddy?!” So Caleb went to the back door and said, “Jonny?!” It was TOO precious! Our neighbors’ little girl calls her dad “Babe” because that’s what Mommy calls him. Now I see how that could easily happen!