|
|
Let me clear my throat...
We got a baby, we got a baby, we got a baby, hey hey hey HEY! Gavriel Zakai Fashbaugh made his appearance in the outside world at 3:51 am on Saturday, September 22, 2007. He weighed eight pounds, ten ounces, and was the smallest baby born on our floor that night. Yowzer! I never got to go into labor naturally. Friday was filled with weirdness for me because my tongue felt kind of fuzzy when I woke up. Then as the day went on, my eye felt a little numb, then my lips started to feel like I’d been shot up with novocaine at the dentist’s office. I was trying not to focus on it, because I tend to fixate on things like that when they’re no big deal. However, when I looked at myself trying to smile in the mirror, I saw that the left side of my mouth wasn’t moving. Uh, scary? Then I went to show Jonathan, and he noticed that my left eye wasn’t blinking either. Scarier. So we called my OB, who advised us to go straight to the ER, even though it just sounded like Bells Palsy. Which was enough to make them induce! But all they had to do was break my water, which threw me into the roughest night of my life. With Caleb, the pitocin and water breakage was followed IMMEDIATELY with an epidural. Two contractions in, as a matter of fact. This time, I had two contractions within six minutes of the water being broken, and my nurse and doctor were off inducing some other lady. They hadn’t expected me to go into labor without the pitocin, so I was fourth on the anesthesiologist’s list. After two hours of the most excruciating pain of my life – accompanied by the kind of vomiting that made me LONG for the beginning days of my pregnancy – I finally got my epidural. Of course, the doc administering it got a little shirty with me because I wasn’t holding still enough. To be fair, I was sitting at a wretched angle on the bed, and they just tried to work around it. I got punctured twice with that giant needle in my back, and it felt like a teeny little bite compared with the contractions I was dealing with. His little face was turned sideways and he had some cord wrappage going on, which added to the drama of delivery, but it was still just remarkably smoother than Caleb’s birth. As soon as he was born, they put him on my tummy and I was able to grab him, hold him and smooch him all over. (With Caleb, my neck and shoulders were so sore from pushing that I literally didn’t SEE him until he was a couple hours old even though I was holding him.) He has a LOT of hair. He’s a hairy kid. And his face was all kinds of bruised from having come down the pipe sideways, but he is just as gorgeous as can be. Jonathan cut the cord, and the two of us just praised God that this little man that we’ve been looking forward to meeting was with us at last. The Bells Palsy has been the most ridiculous thing. I was totally fine from labor about an hour after delivery. After a shower, I was a new woman. But the vanity and pride that stem from having my face look like this took a lot out of me. Jonathan was even more of a perfect husband than usual – he kept reassuring me that he thinks it would be super if my face stayed like this because he thinks it’s super cute. Plus, on Sunday morning, he went out and bought me a new eyepatch and decorated it himself. Ohmigoodness, do I love that man! Grandma and Grandpa Garmane took care of Caleb during this time, bringing him to the hospital once or twice a day to see us. If you haven’t seen the pictures, check out Gavi’s page to see his and Caleb’s first meeting. It was a beautiful thing to behold. Caleb is being really possessive with “Baby Gavi.” He actually threw a couple of hissy fits when he wasn’t allowed to hold him any longer. I know that the honeymoon period will end, but it’s nice to have the initial reaction be overwhelmingly positive. We were released from the hospital on Monday morning. Gavi had developed jaundice, but the numbers weren’t enough to warrant keeping him at the hospital or sending him home with a bili-blanket. So even though he looked super yellow, we know it wasn’t as bad as it was with Caleb. Grandma and Grandpa brought Caleb to our house to have a reunion, then took him home with them again so that Jonathan, Gavi and I could have some adjustment time on our own. The kid REALLY doesn’t like to sleep at night, really DOES like to eat, and gets cuter every day. We gave him his first bath yesterday, took our first walk tonight, and look forward to another dozen firsts in the next couple of days. God has been so gracious with us ~ two exquisite boys, both of whom we couldn’t imagine our lives without. We were so scared that it would be impossible to love anyone as much as we love Caleb, but we’ve found out that it isn’t that tough at all when the second somebody is Gavriel Zakai!
Tummy giggles
Last night Jonathan and I just sat on the couch and watched Gavi go crazy. It was awesome! We would just watch him move all over and completely distend my belly. Jonny said it would be pretty handy because we wouldn’t have to worry about labor since Gavi was just going to burst out of my abdomen any minute like in Alien. At least Caleb would get to see a fire truck. Because if that baby explodes out of my tummy, I’m calling 911 ~ and since the fire station is only two blocks away, they’d be the first responders.
Long time, no type!
SO! I kind of haven’t posted for a while because my mood has been fluctuating so wildly that I haven’t wanted to risk writing something I might regret later. Some of my friends have gotten nasty e-mails and phone calls from me that speak to my frame of mind at that time, and they have all been SO gracious! I tell you what, you’ll never know truer friendship than when you’re feeling like the most wretched human in the world and friends show you love regardless. No Gavi yet. Yesterday was my due date. Since the doctors had been preparing me for an early delivery due to my near-constant contractions for the last two and a half months, I don’t mind saying that it’s a little disappointing. Plus, last Wednesday, I was within one more contraction of going to the hospital when labor just stopped. The same thing happened Saturday night from eleven to four thirty. I was SO close to calling the doc and saying it was time to go. Part of me wishes I had. (It’s mostly my feet – I’m finally REALLY starting to swell, and my feet are SO ugly that it’s mostly vanity rather than discomfort.) I asked them to break my water on Monday, and they declined. I was really disappointed by that. After all, they’ve been concerned about the size of this kiddo for months. At my appointment LAST Monday, I was already dilated to five, 100% effaced, and measuring 42 weeks. (Meaning Gavi was obviously full size.) But this week, suddenly, it’s like “No, we can’t take ‘measures’ for another week.” And I had my heart set on having a baby on Monday. So the fact that I didn’t really threw me into a tailspin. Terra has been my biggest help. She took the time explaining to me why the doctor probably made the decision he did – if Gavi hasn’t dropped, there’s a possibility that the umbilical cord could get caught between his head and the birth passage, which would necessitate a c-section. Obviously, I don’t want that. But the doctor didn’t explain that, so I was just left with my major disappointment that shadowed my Monday. But after ranting and raving about it for QUITE A WHILE, I felt a lot better. I’m resigned to the fact that I might not go into labor, after thinking it was going to happen every day for the last month. But that’s freed me up to quit worrying about it. So Caleb and I went to the zoo yesterday – for the third time in a week! – and today we’ve been running all the errands and going to all the doctors that I’ve been putting off for weeks. Let me tell you how that little munchie is keeping me from going berserk. He is the cutest kid in the world! First of all, he can now count to 10 unprompted. Genius, right? We’re still working on the alphabet, because he has his favorite sections but the other letters just get left out in the cold. He’s also very excited about baby Gavi, and tells everyone we meet that the baby is “sleeping.” Which isn’t often true! Gavi is the most active baby I could ever dream of! He is CONSTANTLY kicking and moving and rolling and roiling. It makes me SO happy to feel him move! (Even though I keep wishing he would drop so I could meet him!) Jonny has strep, so Caleb had to get tested yesterday, and I’m going in this morning. I’m starting to feel poopy, which doesn’t really fit in with the “completely strong” feeling I’ve had for the last couple days. At the zoo yesterday, Caleb made it through the WHOLE THING! We didn’t go down some of the side streets with the birds, and we didn’t see the primate panorama, but he walked through the ENTIRE rest of the place. I’ve quit taking the stroller, which makes it a lot less of a battle since he understands that I’m not going to try to make him get in it. Anyway, the most we’d ever made it through was half before. So we had a little reward of a train ride and a carousel ride! Last week when we rode the carousel, he was scared of the animals, so we just sat on a bench. This time he was happy to sit on an animal, but it had to be one of the stationary ones. Next time, I bet he’ll sit on one of the animals that rise and fall with the spinning. He’s SO brave! My new favorite animal is the dwarf mongoose. The biggest it gets is 24 ounces, and it looks like the cutest beanie baby in the world. Caleb’s favorite is the okapi. He kept hollering it at the top of his lungs yesterday. “OH-COPY!” It really is a pretty incredible animal! I can’t even tell you how much I’ve enjoyed having the pass to the zoo. It’s only a little more gas than I was using to go to work, so it’s kind of a minimal expense in my mind for the hours and hours of joy we’ve had. Another big milestone yesterday was that we had our first faceplant with blood with Jonny not around. I’m pretty good with booboos as long as they don’t bleed much. This one is the corner of his mouth where he slammed his face into the coffee table as he fell out of the chair he was playing on. That sucker bled enough to make me freak out pretty badly, but Caleb just enjoyed playing with what splashed on his arm. Then today, he pulled the bird bath down on his head which is, um, totally my fault because I’ve been letting him play with it even though I knew it wasn’t entirely stable. He made trails for his trucks, and I thought it was brilliant that he was so involved. Grandma and Grandpa Garmane are even more excited about this baby being born than we are, if that’s possible! They’re going to take Mr. Caleb home with them for a couple days while we’re at the hospital, and then come stay in Denver to see us during the day when we come home. They’ve been through the whole range of desperate hope that I have – every time I call them, they ask if it’s time! (So does Jonny. I have to quit calling them!) I turned 31! That’s a milestone for me! We had a bunch of friends over on Friday night to celebrate – and we played the game I wanted to play for once! (Scene It. Four boys against four girls. I have NO idea how we lost.) Then on Saturday, my family came to us to celebrate, and John and Sharon Sommerfeld joined us for lunch, then went to do their own thing, then came back that night. My parents gave me a FoodSaver, that vacuum pack thing. It will totally help with my grocery game, so I can buy meat in bulk! Then my sister gave me a gift certificate for a post-partum massage at the same place my boss took us to for Christmas. Ohmigoodness, how awesome is that going to be?! And Jonny gave me nine books that I’m really enjoying. But he gave them to me a week early, because he has a serious issue waiting for holidays. He totally tricked me into looking at it, too, by telling me that it was something he’d picked up for Chris and Alisa’s engagement party! Sheesh! And y’all thought I was bad! Goodness gracious, this is a HUGE post. And I didn’t even cover half of the wonderful things Caleb has been doing! But that’s what I get for keeping my fingers still for a week and a half while the craziness continues rolling!
Monday Morning Madness
Another public outing, another ginormous bruise that makes Caleb look like he has the worst parents in the world. So be it, I guess. I’ve done what I can to avoid his oopsies, but I figure that he’s going to be the little boy he was meant to be regardless of how carefully I watch him. This latest episode happened at Chris and Alisa’s engagement party this past Saturday night. We were running a little late, so I was already frazzled, but within three minutes of our entrance, Caleb had taken a header down the hardwood stairs. He pounded his left eye on at least three steps before I caught him. Ugh. It immediately swelled up and made him look like he’d met a better fighter. Then of course, we had to take him to a baby shower yesterday where the swelling had gone down, but the bruise and impact marks were even more vivid. Sheesh. Of course, even having his face bashed in didn’t stop the ladies from going gaga over him! Speaking of that baby shower, that was another fun story! Our upstairs neighbor was planning a get-together for our immediate little neighbor clan to celebrate their first pregnancy. So we offered to take food and everything, excited to be a blessing to them. But when we got there, it turns out that he had told our neighbors that it was for BOTH of us! So we ended up having a little unexpected shower after all! Diapers, wipes, outfits, rattles and crib toys where none of them are duplicates of Caleb’s stuff! It was a real blessing! Green Eggs and Ham has become a favorite for Mr. Caleb. I’ve gotten into a rhythm where I read Sam’s voice in my normal voice, and the cranky guy in a British accent. Every time I ask the questions that Sam asks ~ “Would you like them here or there? With a mouse, in a house,” etc., Caleb always pipes in with “YES!” Every single question, he answers yes to. Then of course I have to be all grinchy with the real words of the story, which just makes him giggle like crazy. Luckily he’s found a few more books that he really likes. Which has nothing to do with the fact that I’ve now put out of sight the books that I am INSANELY tired of reading. One can only read a four page book about Quackers’ Crackers three thousand times before wanting to put a proverbial shotgun to the duck. Grr. Daddy is already trying to teach Caleb chess. I’m not sure it’s worth the frustration for him, but Caleb LOVES yelling “HORSE” when he sees the Knight. Jonathan bought me a beginner chess book in hopes that he can get me hooked before Caleb gets too much older. I think it would really make him happy to have a family that loved chess. So I’m really going to try. Caleb starting to get a sense of self when he sees pictures or we ask him his name ~ and that self is “Cabulb.” That’s how he says it, and even though I shouldn’t laugh at him, I have to sometimes. He’s so adorable when he brings me a picture of himself and shouts “Cabulb!” I was really hoping Gavi would make an appearance early this week, but now I have cause to hope he waits. John and Sharon are coming to town late this week, and we haven’t met Jada yet! So if he’ll cooperate, I’m hoping he’ll wait until they've left. But I have an appointment this afternoon, and we’ll see what they say. I didn’t think I’d make it this long, to be honest, so I’m starting to lose my anticipation! (But not get any more sleep, dontcha know!)
Saturday
Ahh, the sweet, sweet sound of glissandos being played ad nauseum on the piano. With monster trucks. I can only pray that he maintains his musical inclinations past year two…
New habits!
Caleb has quit crying when I put him down for a nap, and sometimes stays in bed for up to ninety minutes. He doesn’t cry often when we put him to bed for the evening, either, and sometimes sleeps ten hours. It’s been a blessing like you wouldn’t believe, and all I could think was that God is extending such amazing grace to us with another non-sleeper coming into the house. I just heard the way God is making this happen. Caleb is jumping in bed. Like a madman. I’ve seen him do it in the past when he wakes up and Jonathan and I have discussed whether we try to stop it or not. But he’s in there, giggling wildly, jumping like crazy and running through his repertoire of language. I guess we better take him back to Bounce. Or maybe not! He’s also riding his tricycle! Jonathan bought it for him six months ago, and his feet didn’t even really reach the pedals. Now, not only does he love to push it around, but I caught him this morning pedaling backwards for the first time, and with a little encouragement, he even made a full revolution forwards! It won’t be long until I’ll feel comfortable taking “his bike” to the park and letting him ride around. Life is good!
Wednesday Thoughts...
Well, even though I go back and forth between wanting Gavi to make an appearance and wanting to wait a while longer, the ambiguity is starting to get to me. It seems that I’m constantly feeling either on the verge of having him or feeling like I’m not even that pregnant. And when it happens every other day ~ or even in the two parts of one day ~ it’s tough to remember what the other extreme feels like! I’ll have half a dozen minor contractions in an hour, lasting 30-45 seconds, or a few really bad ones that threaten to drop me. Then I’ll go a couple hours without even feeling one ~ and I’m stronger than ever. Again, the nesting instinct is getting a little ridiculous because it’s been going on for so long. But honestly, I don’t think I’ve EVER been so organized! My appointment yesterday wasn’t really terribly informative either. I’m measuring almost 41 weeks, which tells me that I’m not an awful person for hoping he comes sooner rather than later. I think he’s probably more than ready to be born, but I’m trying to remember that God’s timing is the most important thing here. After all, I don’t know what tomorrow holds ~ maybe Caleb Z is going to get another bout of the poopies! Wouldn’t it be easier for me to deal with my little munchie than have to let his Grandma and Grandpa take care of him? That’s the other thing that TOTALLY makes me nervous! I’ve never been away from Caleb for more than 36 hours at a time! How am I going to stand having him away from me for this crucial event in our lives? I don’t know how long the separation will be, because I think my folks will plan on bringing him to visit at the hospital, and the hospital stay might be REALLY minimal, but it still concerns me. I don’t like to think about the trauma that it will be for ME to be away from him ~ but when I get to thinking about traumatizing CALEB, I want Gavi to stay in forever! Caleb is really learning to be a big help to me. I’m trying to find the balance between letting him stay in baby mode and really encouraging the “big brother” aspect. He’ll still have his mood swings, but when I ask him to help pick up toys or whatever, he’s generally amenable. ESPECIALLY if he knows something cool will come afterwards. This is how I reward my son for picking up his toys: get out the vacuum. Hey, it works! Last night, Jonathan needed to stay at work really late, and so I fed Caleb on his own fairly early. But I was starting to get hungry and I finally said to him in frustration, “Where is your daddy?!” So Caleb went to the back door and said, “Jonny?!” It was TOO precious! Our neighbors’ little girl calls her dad “Babe” because that’s what Mommy calls him. Now I see how that could easily happen!
Saturday...
Rough morning on the Mommy and Caleb front. First of all, I would like to admit that I am exhausted, so I concede that much of the problem is coming from me. I woke up at four this morning and couldn’t go back to sleep. On top of many, many nights of not very much sleep, it seems an almost insurmountable difficulty. Blech. Jonny had to go to work this morning, which is kind of a rough thing for me. I’m tired, hot, and pregnanter than I remember being with Caleb ~ I was kind of hoping to have a little support this morning. Ah well, the man is kicking butt at his job, and maybe we won’t have to worry about money so much in a few months if he puts in the hours he needs to now. I knew it was going to be a long one when Caleb chose four different shoes to wear, and screamed bloody murder that I couldn’t figure out a way to make all of them work. He kept changing his mind for ten minutes. I finally said, “NO SHOES!” and walked away. Of course he followed me, screaming, which I can handle, but then he hit me and screamed no. That’s when the discipline happens, and he knows it. Unfortunately, when I was grabbing him to smack his hand, he threw himself down, and my thumbnail caught him in the corner of the nose and scratched him. I still smacked his hand. Ten minutes later, he had calmed down and apologized. We decided not to wear shoes, since he was going to help Mommy in the kitchen. Unfortunately, when I had taken down a pot earlier that morning, I had jarred something on my pot rack loose, and when I opened the refrigerator door, a frying pan fell from the ceiling and smashed into the counter and then the handle caught him on the forehead. I think he was scared more than anything, but of course he fell apart again. We’ve been reading the same two books for the last thirty minutes. Now Mommy is ready to fall apart. One of them doesn’t even have WORDS! How am I supposed to read it a dozen times? But then he went and brought me a matching set of shoes – hooray! – and decided to play in his sandbox for a while. I’m writing this down to remind myself of why it might be better to keep Gavi inside for a while. Because the lack of sleep due to bladder teeny-ness is messing with my head enough to make me think it would be better if he were born. Which is stark, raving crazy, I know. But when something is tough, you’re willing to do whatever to change the circumstances in hopes that it will make things better. But rash decisions like, I don’t know, perhaps wanting to go to the zoo and run around after Caleb for a few hours in hopes it will pop me into labor, are probably not what’s best for me or my unborn son. Poor kid, his mom’s a little psycho right now. But here are some adorable things that keep me sane: first of all, Caleb and Daddy are playing the guitar together quite a bit lately. It started with one guitar, both of them playing, and has evolved into two guitars, usually dueling. Caleb’s favorite part of it – other than Daddy’s attention – is the pick. He LOVES dropping the pick into the center of the guitar and making Dad get it for him ~ after he tries to shake it out himself. It’s adorable! Also, he’ll say “bed” to me at least once a day, and that’s our cue to hop up in Mommy’s bed and cuddle, tickle, read and generally just relax together for a while. It happens JUST when I need it the most. I swear, the kid is already listening to the Holy Spirit when it comes to Mommy needing a breather! He’s also REALLY into “babies” and “puppies,” two terms that encompass every stuffed, real or toy animal in the world. Grandma Fashbaugh gave him a caterpillar on a string for Christmas last year, and he pulls it around and tells me about his puppy. At first I tried to correct him, but it’s so silly to try to get a not overly verbal not-quite-two year old to say a four syllable word when he’s perfectly happy as is. And I took down a bag full or stuffed animals that he hadn’t seen in a while, and he proudly proclaimed all his little bears “babies.” (Half of them were beanie babies, so maybe he’s just a genius!) OHMIGOODNESS! Jonny just called ~ he was only going to stay at work for a half day, but he just got a call from a prospect that he just contacted yesterday, and the guy is going to look over Jonathan’s contract and give him a call in a few hours. It would be his biggest sale yet, so I’m putting the kibosh on the irritation that he’s not going to be home today. After all, he IS going to be home on Monday! Or the kibosh shall be lifted. Gotta get lunch ready so we can take a nice nap and maybe Mommy can quit being a wishy-washy fruitcake. Cross your fingers that it’s even a possibility at this point!
|
Congratulations!!!!! You are so blessed with another sweetie. We know there's a lot you're going to have to get through with all the complications. Hang in there, we know you're in Good Hands. He'll give you the strength to get you through this difficult time.
We have you in our prayers and will continue to ask the Lord for healing, strength, and peace.
We love you guys!
The Matt Johnsons
Yay, yay, yay!! Welcome Gavi! Aww, he's so cute and 'manda you're beautiful! Stupid weird things that happen to you...remember when you went blind in high school and I brought m&ms to your house and made you guess the colors?
I'm so happy you are home and doing well. CALL MEEEE!!! (when you can of course...) Congratulations Fashbaughs! love you...wendy
Congrats to all of you and well done Amanda for getting through all that! You are really strong! Gavi looks beautiful and Caleb has really grown into a handsome little boy! Enjoy this next part of your lives! Love Jess
Congratulations!!! He looks so adorable, as does his big brother! I'll be prayng that he will learn to love to sleep at night. :)Love you guys!
This lady did some awesome video blogging about Bell's Palsy.
Amanda - Congrats!!! My punk sister didn't even tell me you had a new arrival.