Godzilla (1998)

Starring Matthew Broderick, Jean Reno, Maria Pitillo, and Hank Azaria

Godzilla is back and this time he's...no he's pretty much still just Godzilla. Manhattan takes a beating in one of Hollywood's big-budget remakes. And now on to the reviews!

Where to begin...Well, first, I have to admit, this was my purchase. I'm a Matthew Broderick freak. I guess I empathize with the characters that he plays with the exception of the legendary Ferris. I just admire Ferris Bueller and his amazing day off. But ah, that's a better movie. Back to the movie at hand.

It's never a good sign when you flip a movie box over and it says in big letters, "Animated Menus". Who in their right mind would pick up Godzilla and say, Wow! I gotta get me this movie so that I check out these schweet menus! Godzilla - It's not just a movie. It's a DVD experience!

This itteration of the creature, Godzilla was more athletic and yet beared a striking resemblence to what Scooby-Doo would look like if he were ever demon posessed or fed after midnight.

Maria Pitillo. Cute, but what kind of crap acting school did she go to!? "Nick, I lied. I'm never made it." Okay, well, that's just the script, but the delivery didn't help. She constantly reminded me of a cute little puppy that gives you sad eyes after soiling your freshly cleaned carpets.

Roland Emmerich has given us some (3) pretty nifty movies over the past decade, but I'm starting to see a pattern: Strong main character actors, bad script, weak supporting actors. Still, the visuals, while logically unsound and inconsistent, were pretty cool. I still thinking that my favorite was The Day After Tomorrow which had problems of its own. And of course, I have to pay homage to Independence Day. I just saw that he produced Eight Legged Freaks. I think I'll have to check that one out now!

So, Gojira, alas, that one line alone earns you your lone star.

"It's Gojira you idiot!!"

Aw! Thanks, Maria. I'll go get the spot remover.

It's sad for me to see Matthew Broderick and Jean Reno reduced to this. It's also sad for me to see Roland Emmerich direct this, because he also directed Independence Day. Two ends of the spectrum, my friends. One, drivel with some catchy lines, the other a brilliantly realized sci-fi classic. (With many, many catchy lines!)

The girl in this is so tremendously awful that I don't even think I care to know what else she's been in. The movie was pretty bad, but she was the standout as far as horrible acting was concerned. I suppose it's not really fair to blame her for the crappy dialogue, but she delivered it SO awfully that I'm willing to pin the bad creature effects on her as well.